The only reason I am updating my long-neglected blog is to share the wonderfulness of these homemade dill-cayenne-ranch-oil seasoned wheat saltine crackers with the rest of the Pinterest world. (Or as I like to call them “DORC crackers” because naturally, I am a huge dork.) I needed to pin it and that’s how I know I am a great member of Generation-Y. Social Media is my release.
I know, the combination listed above for these crackers sounds strange and maybe not all that appetizing, but believe me, it is incredible. I was at a friend’s house this past week and she had a large jug of saltine crackers sitting upside-down on her counter. Naturally, food in any form intrigues me, especially crackers and even more especially when they’re upside-down in a jug coated with seasoning. (Who can live off cheese and crackers? This girl right here.) When I asked her what they were, she rattled off a list of ingredients mixed together and stated they were “the most delicious thing you’ll ever put in your mouth.” Just kidding, I said that after eating one. I also said, “That’s what she said” because that joke will never get old. (Right?)
These crackers have 5 simple ingredients, most of which you might already have at home. They are:
1 box (four sleeves) of whole grain Premium saltine crackers (or any kind of your choosing)
2/3 cup healthy oil (I used Extra Virgin Olive Oil, or EVOO if you’re Rachael Ray, but my friend used Canola Oil with Omega-3…I wanted to use that kind, but I couldn’t find any at the store I ran to.)
Dill weed (amount to taste)
1 oz packet of Ranch dressing mix (I used Hidden Valley, because, duh.)
Take your box of saltines and empty them into a big jug. I used an old tupperware container my parents most likely got in the ’70s when they got married, but you can use anything that will fit 4 sleeves of saltines comfortably with a little room to shake the crackers in. My friend used an old jug that used to hold cheese puffs or cheese balls (you all know what I’m talking about). That would be perfect, but I didn’t have any cheese balls.
Once you empty your crackers in, pour the ranch packet in. Then add the cayenne and dill weed. I like things spicy so I added about a tablespoon or so of cayenne. I also love dill, but the ranch packet adds some dill flavor on its own, so I probably added a little less of the dill. I didn’t measure and you don’t really need to – it’s all based on what you like. You can even add other seasonings if you want – go crazy! I debated on adding red pepper flakes for extra spice, but I wanted to eat the crackers with the original recipe first.
After I added the seasoning, I shook up the container a little bit, then I added about 1/3 cup of the oil. I poured it around the top, making sure not to dump it directly on one section, then I shook up the container again. I poured the rest of the oil in after shaking it well and then shook it like crazy. Don’t worry, it doesn’t smash all the crackers like you would think, unless maybe your container has spikes or something. (Also, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have to use a calculator to figure out what half of 2/3 cup of oil was. I’m only telling you this to as proof that my desk job is eating my brain.)
According to my friend, you’re supposed to rotate the crackers frequently to evenly coat all the crackers with seasoning and oil. I’m impatient, as previously mentioned, so I started rotating it about every 15 minutes which does just about nothing with slow moving oil. It should meld together for about a day or so to get extra delicious, so be more patient than me and leave the bin on one side for at least an hour before rotating it again.
Once your crackers are done, try really hard not to eat all of them in one sitting. I want to, but I’m restraining myself. I bought Laughing Cow cheese to put on top so that I don’t also eat an entire bag of colby jack cheese chunks with my delicious crackers.
If you’re watching your calories, I can’t help you with motivation or willpower, because I have zero of either, but I was bored at work this morning and I decided to calculate the calorie/fat content for each cracker in case anyone was curious. The nutrition facts on Premium’s website say that 16g of crackers are one serving and it is 70 calories and 2 grams of fat. I couldn’t find how many crackers that was, but one site said that 14g was 5 crackers, so I calculated that 16g is 5.714 crackers. There are 29 servings in one box so that’d be about 165 crackers. All of this weird math made my head hurt, so I went to my Lose It! app and it says that 5 crackers are 60 calories and 1.5g of fat so I’m going to go with that one. Just thought you’d want to see my bored thought process.
Anyway, there’s apparently about 160 crackers per box (40 crackers per sleeve) so about 1,920 calories and 48g fat per box of whole grain saltines. 2/3 cup of EVOO is about 1,281 calories and 150g fat according to Lose It! and one 1oz ranch packet is 32 calories and 0g fat.
1920 + 1281 + 32 = 3233 calories per entire cracker bin / 160 crackers = about 20.20 calories per cracker
48 + 150 = 198g fat per cracker bin / 160 = 1.2375g fat per cracker
So basically I’m saying that math is annoying and you should eat the crackers without worrying about caloric content. 20.20 calories are amazing per delicious cracker anyway so eat however much you want. I’m giving you permission.